Why The best motivation to get out of you bubble is … love (blog 3)

One of the most moving stories I received was from Pavel. He is an IT professional and lives in a smallish Czech town of Rokycany. Five years ago he met Vera, a wonderful woman in all respects. Except her and her family’s and friend’s views on Romas/gypsies. Any discussion on that topic with those nice and educated people was a source of conflict - from Pavel’s side, their arguments were totally unacceptable and reminded him of the Holocaust. He even though about terminating the relationship because of that. 

Being very motivated (Love! Love! Love!), he persevered and with Vera, who is now his wife, they are able to be aware of their bubbles and to respect them. 

How did he do it? Pavel writes: “For me is is mainly about working on myself, to be aware of one’s own personal story, the unconscious sources that lead me to action. Once you see that, you see that the same happens for everybody - my partner, my family, friends, nations, Asad, Putin, Trump … It was all a trial and error process. At the beginning, my behavior was purely reactive - as soon as somebody came up with their anti-gypsy opinions, I felt the need to correct his “wrong” view. Over the years, I have learned that it is better to listen, listen, listen … I have been through myriads of these discussions during my trips to Přerov (the smallish Moravian town his wife comes from). I came to realize that their opinions are formed over a long time, based on their own experiences and what they have heard from others. Because of their life stories, they are in their bubble and are unable to see the “other side” (unless, like my wife, they move out or they have someone to talk to). To me this is the archetype of a bubble - different life stories, lack of awareness of them (from both sides) and therefore an impossibility to get out of them and see things more clearly.”

These days, the situation is different. My wife sees her bubble (she lives in Pilsen, only goes to Přerov sometimes), and she also sees the different opinion (my bubble) that I am consistently presenting. I became aware of my bubble and I also learned to respect here life story and her bubble. We are looking for ways, how to let the bubbles burst even in this area. Where there is no middle to the bubble (the story), there is no container for it. 

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